One of the most amazing experiences both for parents and scientists is observing how children develop. Psychologists will tell you that already from kindergarten on children form social hierarchies and the kids are aware of who the “alpha pups” are. Some time later, in elementary school you will find the first cliques that are relatively impermeable to new members and, in which kids who had previously been friends are suddenly excluded..
It is my hypothesis, however, that some children are not genetically programmed to form in-groups and social hierarchies and that among these children the majority of gifted, ASD and ADHD cases can be found. Gifted children notoriously hate authority and have a high sense of justice. These children are often hypersocial, as they are less likely to have any group boundaries such as “my team”. These children might have inherited a greater amount of hunter-gatherer genes as egalitarianism and out-group sociality are typical features of hunter-gatherer societies. On the other hand, these hunter-gatherer children can also be extremely hyposocial. The difference is often determined by introversion or extraversion.
Hypersocial kids: extraverted hunter-gatherer children typically want to be friends with everyone. They call every kid they get to know at the playground their “friends”. When asked what the name of their new friends is, they are likely not to know it. Frequently, these hypersocial kids get rejected and are sad, because they don’t understand why everybody wants to be friends with them They will tell you that they have many friends, but in reality their number of friends is quite small. Parents of such children are often stressed because their children want to invite over dozens of children or often invite themselves. Moreover, they might have low social anxiety and easily start to talk to strangers, which may add to the parents’ worries.
Hpyosocial kids: introverted hunter-gatherer children. Everyone has seen one of them. The kid at the playground who is overseeing the other kids closely rather than participating in the play. They are often extremely shy, completely reluctant to talk to strangers, and often take a long time to “warm-up”. My oldest son would remain seated in the car for half an hour when we visited friends - only then he was ready to engage in social activities. What makes kids behave this way? Depriving themselves of childhood fun, learning possibilities and changes to make friends? The feeling of being different and not being able to trust everyone. As others are programmed differently it is hard to rely on them and predict their behaviour.
Hunter-gatherer children like real hunter-gatherers behaving in the presence of farmers:
These two descriptions of African hunter-gatherer tribes (Baka and Aka) and their behaviors among Bantu farmers might equally well apply to my two sons. At school they are quiet, withdrawn, avoid eye contact and are serious and fearful. At home, however, they are totally “normal” kids, however. They are relaxed, fool around and play and laugh a lot.
This transformation between home and public life is amazing and hard to explain. The only explanation I have is that somehow hunter-gatherer kids try to figure out who is part of their “tribe” and who isn’t. One common phenomenon seen among autistic children is that they only allow certain people to be touched or even would not talk to people if they don’t trust them.
One thing is certain, however, this kind of child non-involved behaviour must have been rare in our past. I don’t find it surprising that clumsiness is very widespread among children with ASD, ADHD and gifted children as many do not engage in play that requires dexterity with other children.
A lot needs to be done in research to find out more. As these hunter-gatherer children are programmed to be egalitarian they reject authority and might, therefore, fail at school and develop oppositional defiant disorder. One out of five children with ODD goes on to develop sociopathy. This can easily happen when the parents or teacher don’t understand the child and force her to comply, which will only generate more defiance. Our world doesn’t want to produce sociopaths when many of them would have the potential to become creative and highly valuable members of society.
Early signs of hunter-gatherer minds in children may be:
- frequent tantrums
- frequently ask why they have to do something and question rules
- are often touchy and easily annoyed, angered or saddened by other people’s behaviour
- frequent absent-mindedness, daydreaming, living in their own heads
- frequent nightmares and sleep problems
- often melancholic or phlegmatic
- imaginary friends
If the early years are difficult for hunter-gatherer children, the teens may be even worse. There is considerable variation as to the onset of puberty. It is reasonable to assume that this variation has at least partially evolutionary origins and I have argued that it depends on our ancestral mode of subsistence and the expected lifespan related to it:
r/K theory and life history studies would predict the following traits (at least among males):
Shortest lifespan (pastoralist)
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medium (farmer)
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Long lifespan (HG)
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Most risk-taking/least fearful
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Least risk-taking/most fearful
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Low empathy/low sensitivity
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High empathy/high sensitivity
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Earliest onset of puberty
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Latest onset of puberty
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Least paternal investment
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Most paternal investment
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Most sociosexual
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Most pair-bonded
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Higher sexual dimorphism
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Lower sexual dimorphism
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Most in-group social
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Most out-group social
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As can be seen from this table pastoralist types are typically early bloomers, whereas hunter-gatherer types are typically late bloomers. This pattern might be broken, i.e. by the absence of a father, which typically accelerates the onset of puberty.
Here are some typical behavioural patterns:
Early bloomers: tend to neglect school and social norms due to high risk-taking potential, become status aware and interested in status symbols (branded clothes, motorbikes, etc.) and show off how cool they are (use of illegal drugs, etc.) tend to form cliques and gangs; due to high in-group sociality tend to exclude “losers” (i.e. teens not cool enough).
Late bloomers: typically continue their childhood, read comics while their early bloomer peers already go out, smoke and drink alcohol. As they are cautious and non-risk taking, they actually might become intimidated and socially withdrawn.
Late bloomers might typically lose their former early-bloomer friends who start to mock them for not being cool, e.g. wearing the wrong clothes when girls, or being “gay” when male. The late bloomers are typically out-group social, i.e. they are unlikely to be part of any group or clique. If the late bloomers are introverts they might end up with no friends at all and become easy victims for early bloomers, who enjoy displays of status to their peers. Often these bullies are actually quite intelligent who start to do badly at school due to a lack of interest and blame the nerds (typically late bloomers) for setting high standards in class.
Even when not being bullied, the hunter-gatherer types might become extremely insecure and shy due to a feeling of not belonging or being weirdos not understanding mating behaviour. As late bloomers tend to be more monogamous or at least more choosy, they easily become disgusted by their peers’ mating behaviour, which often involves frequently changing partners and might decide to stay out of the “mating-market” (at least for a few more years).
Hunter-gatherer types are typically less sensitive to gossip and trends, they accentuate their gender less and are cautious. These traits make them less attractive for teenagers who are highly sensitive to social rejection and strive to have cool friends. Hunter-gatherer females often don’t understand why their peers suddenly are so “bitchy and often start to feel more comfortable around boys. The same is true for hunter-gatherer males who do not necessarily share their peers’ passion for talking about girls, football and cars.
These developments usually take their toll on hunter-gatherer type self-esteem and perceived reproductive potential. Being egalitarian other teenagers who are less so are often perceived as a threat and social anxiety and depression might be a frequent outcome.
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